When I was a child, we would be told, “If you can’t say anything nice, best not say anything at all.” I can tell you there are some people out there who probably would never speak if this was an enforceable law. I feel sorry for them. They are living in a garden that is so over run with weeds that they probably couldn’t find a flower in there if their life depended on it.
Yes I am quoting myself today. I was saying this to my neighbors cat Jules earlier today. He is visiting for a few days and understood right away what I meant, as he is a regular visitor to all the gardens, front and back, in the vicinity. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t share what you are lacking. This also means that a person who is unable to be kind is expressing the void that is the cause of their sufferability. It makes them insufferable too. I do not have any solutions for dealing with people other than yourself. You can’t change someone who won’t change, or may not even realize that change might do them good. You can change how you deal with them. Start with empathy. It may be difficult but it is not sympathy. Empathy is about the intellectual identification with, or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. It is not how you feel about them but rather how you understand them. That garden is not yours to weed. Each must tend to themselves. What grows there is all we take with us in the end.
You can not make anyone happy that is not happy to begin with. Happy is in there. Weed your own garden. Plant your own seeds. When you are done watering them with your tears and you let your heart shine bright, sit back and admire the blossoms.
“Everything lives. Everything dies. Everything leans to the light.” - unknown to me
Namaste!
Bianca
This personal blog was written by Bianca Pittoors. You may “share” it in its entirety. I respectfully request that you respect it as the intellectual property that it is. Thank you! All photos by Bianca Pittoors unless noted otherwise.
Bianca Pittoors & Marc Langis are Bianca Basso. Creators of original music with a vintage flavor, they are distinctive in their contemporary style.